India, oh India

It's hard to believe, but in two weeks and one day, I'll be on my way home! Honestly, I can't wait to be back home. Don't get me wrong, India has been amazing I have learned and grown a lot, but let's face it, Dorothy's right: "there's no place like home."

The last month especially has been full of moments where I get really excited about coming home. I'm pretty sure that in one of my letters home, I used a full paragraph to describe my short-list of foods that I want to eat when I get home...as you can see, it's an awfully exciting prospect! (But I'll spare you.)

You may ask, "what have you been doing the last month or so since you wrote last?" Well, I shall tell you.

I finished my first project at Palni Hills Conservation Council on October 27 and traveled back to Chennai on the 29th. An abnormally long 44+ train ride later--due to monsoon flooding--I arrived in Agra, the home of the Taj Mahal. Let me tell you, if the Taj looks like it's barely there in photographs, it's because that's how it looks in reality. After paying the steep tourist entry fee of Rs. 750 (compared to Rs. 50 for Indians) and keeping my spot in line from being snagged by budge-rs and then clearing the tall wall surrounding the Taj, I finally got my first glimpse of it and had to do a double take. Even up close, the Taj looks as though it's not completely tangible--it looks like it's made of mist or something...else. It's a strange experience but more than worth the long train ride.

Even the train ride on which my iPod was sadly stolen from me by some man who fished it out of my bag and jumped of the train before he could be stopped. God gave me an unbelievable patience and calmness to me at the time and kept my (quick) temper from being ignited. He did it by a simple instruction to "not lay up for myself treasure on earth where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for myself treasure in heaven where neither moth nor rust destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal," Matthew 6. Thank God that my treasure is not on earth! It is something no earthly power or common thief can take from me. For I am his and he is mine--yes, I'm talking about Jesus, the Risen Lamb, seated at the right hand of God.

I did however, lose some of my temper the following day at the Railway Police Station when I attempted--and failed--to get a report for insurance...I think I can safely say that my interactions with the Indian Railway Police and railway staff have been my least favorite experiences in India--narrowly behind being ill.

I wasted over an hour of my time in Agra trying to get a simple official report: first, I was asked to write a letter describing the complaint, next, to copy that letter, and then copy it once more for an officer who proceeded to fold it up in front of my eyes and stick it in his wallet. The whole situation was really a bit of a joke...they laughed at the problem, told me in perfect English that they did not speak English and then expounded upon the merits and beauties of Hindi over English and every other spoken language. Great. In the end, they decided to interrupt the meeting for tea time. It was probably rather rude of me (I must confess my patience was at an end), but I did not drink the tea they offered and instead walked out the door, never to return.

*Tip, if you ever travel on the railway in India, don't let anything be stolen from you...because you won't get any help from the railway police. Also, don't miss a connecting train due to a train delayed by flooding if you're white...because they will refund every Indian's tickets but throw your papers back at you with no explanation after you've waited in the pointless line for half an hour. :P I know it's awful of me to say it, but there are some extremely prejudiced views about foreigners in India.

In hindsight, it was good for me to experience--in a very small measure--what it is like to be the target of prejudice. There seems to be a notion in India that if you don't look Indian, then it is an Indian's right to try and rip you off (or "punch your pocket" as one my Indian friends described it). Thankfully, that is not how most people behave, but it's pretty common in service industries--e.g. chain restaurants like Coffee Day, Indian Railways, auto rickshaw drivers... It's hard to find a balance between irritation at their behavior, and the fact that I really do live a privileged life as a member of the American middle class and the fact that I should respond as follower of Christ when I really want to be indignant and yell at them. God give me grace!

Where was I before I went on that nice little tangent?

Oh yes, travel break. The remainder of travel break was quite enjoyable, actually. We went to Delhi next and spent two days there. Delhi was very modern when compared to the rest of India that I have seen so far. They had a well connected metro that took us to all the places we wanted to see. After Delhi, we went north to Darjeeling (tea anyone?) and spent a week there.

Our first day in Darjeeling was cloudy and rainy, but the rest of the week we had clear skies and were able to see the sun rise and set on the Himalayan Mountains! It was very beautiful and somewhat surreal! We were a good long distance from them, but they were breathtaking nonetheless. Their hugeness is what impressed me both--pictures can't convey it. We were already 2200 meters (about 7000 ft) up in the air, but we still had to look up to see the Himalayas nearly 100km (about 60 miles) away!

December is here, as you know, and I'm eagerly awaiting my return home and the celebration of Christmas. To prepare, I printed off a bunch of Christmas carols that I've been humming and singing to myself...I (re)discovered some great verses from carols that I have grown up with and therefore ignored. For example, "Hark the Herald Angles Sing." A carol that I blew off as loud and long when sung at church. But I confess I love the last verse:

Hail the heav'n-born Prince of Peace!
Hail the Son of Righteousness!

Light and life to all He brings

Ris'n with healing in His wings

Mild He lays His glory by

Born that man no more may die

Born to raise the sons of earth

Born to give them second birth

Hark! The herald angels sing

"Glory to the newborn King!"

It's actually a pretty sweet verse. Full of hope and meaning.

Well, I realize that this is a rather long post and so I shall close. Perhaps I shall write once more before I leave India. I hope to try and sum up what I learned in India but I'm still trying to figure that all out in my head--clearly not time to be writing it in a letter.

Thanks for your interest and reading, I know my erratic posts don't make it easy. Thanks.

I wish all of you a wonderful advent season and I pray for you and miss you all.

Beggars + Christ + Me

The other week, I witnessed one of the most heart-wrenching, enlightening and moving experiences of my life...

The woman is probably in her mid-sixties, gray-haired. On her feet she wears shoes five sizes too big for her--too big for me as well. Her socks held up by a little piece of string tied around her calves. Her saree is dilapidated and a little small. She wears two jackets and covers her head with a rough looking shawl. To help her walk, she uses a walking stick about three and a half feet tall. Whenever someone passes her, she lowers her right hand from her head to her waist while making a supplicatory sound (something like "aaaahn").

Every now and then, her supplications are met with one or two rupee coins, but most often she is ignored completely. Even by me. At the time, I was sitting outside of a bakery, waiting for it to open so I could buy some bread and a cinnamon roll. I was very moved as I watched her. She would stand and beg for a while and then sit down and rest--slipping into nothingness. I was very reflective as I sat on that bench...asking myself questions. Questions like what my response to her need should be as a fellow human being? As a Christian? How can I meet her needs? A passage in James 2 came to my mind:

What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, "Go in peace, be warmed and filled," without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.
James 2:14-17

How do I do that as a visitor? I don't want to excuse myself from her need just by claiming that I am a visitor, but I also don't know how to be Christ to her. Let's face it, I'm only here two more weeks and then I will be gone. How do I not just say "go in peace, be warmed and filled?" I feel like the two rupees I gave her is just that--token love and care that amounts to nothing.

I'm still working out what my response towards her is going to be, but God has already expanded my heart to include love for her and beggers. This is a huge blessing because up until this point I had felt ambivalent towards all the people that I had met here in India. God has used this beggar woman to move my heart to love and dream about how I can help beggars in the future...to pray for them...to think of ways to actually meet a need (warm socks or a coat?)...I want to treat her and other beggars like people made in God's image. Not as though they don't exist. I would love to get an interpreter and ask this lady about her life...how she ended up as a beggar...what she did before...her hopes...fears...joys.

Jesus said to them, "I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.
John 6:35

I want to share the bread of life with her so that her spirit will not hunger or thirst, and I want to help meet her physical hungers and thirsts. Dreams come to my heart as I look at her and think about what God might put me to work at in the future. Please pray for me in this respect and especially for all the beggars and people with huge needs. And lest you trivialize the needs of beggars and naively think that they are really just crooks trying to "cheat hardworking people of their rightful wages," remember that they are people created in God's image and that Jesus calls us to love our enemies. In the past, I have ignorantly thought that. I am sure that there are some beggars that would fit that bill, but I no longer believe that is the majority. I'm not saying that throwing money at them is the solution because I don't think it is. Rather, I think we need to go and love them where they are. To encourage them. To treat them like people worthy of our concern. To teach them how to live apart from beggary. To invite them home and give them a meal. To give them rides in our cars. Something.

By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.
1 John 3:16-18

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.
1 John 4:7-12

They may not all be brothers or sisters in Christ, but how do we know whether or not it is God's will for them to become brothers or sisters in the future? We don't. We only know to love them. I feel like a child when I write this because I fail, miserably. Let's pray for God to give us faith and grace to press on towards the goal (i.e. Christ's perfection). Let's ask God to expand our hearts and dreams in ways that show his exceeding glory by loving one another. If we love one another, God abides in us (even though no one has ever seen Him), and his love will be perfected in us.

Forgive me for my long windedness...this is something that God has put on my heart and I'm trying to figure it all out. If you think about it, please pray that I would have wisdom to know how to proceed. Please pray for faith, patience, and contentment.

I love all of you and miss you a lot. I pray for all of you from time to time as you come to my mind and heart. I wish you all the best in your pursuits. I wish and pray joy for you that will not leave you at the end.

One more blessing that I pray for myself and for you...

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
Romans 15:13

God is good all the time...

...and all the time, God is good!

I am sorry for my long lapse in writing...I could (very plausibly) say that I haven't had time and access to computers for the last few weeks, but that wouldn't be completely accurate. Mainly, I've lacked...joy. Joy in Christ, in family, in familiar places...I guess it's a form of homesickness or, more specifically, not resting in Christ. I haven't been experiencing the joy in Christ and his promises that I am used to.

I'm confused about what my purpose here in India is. At home, I envisioned myself full of joy in Christ and sharing that joy, but so far I have had few days where I have felt like that. More often, I have been caught up in selfishness or self-consciousness that puts other people completely out of mind...I have found that the enemies of joy in Christ are the same in India as they are in America. Namely, self.

I am proud, independent, seflish, stubborn, overly self-conscious, and full of sin. I am learning a lot about myself in those regards...it's not pleasant but it is good.

The above, thankfully, is not the whole story. God has is teaching me to pray more than I have ever prayed. To pray for myself. For faith, joy, peace, contentment, trust, boldness, humility, freedom from sin, patience, for strength, to endure...

"May you be strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for all endurence and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light" (Colassians 1:11-12).

To pray for my family and friends. That they too would have faith in Christ, joy, peace, etc. That Christ would be a priceless treasure in my eyes. That I would love him so much that I would count everything else besides him--even my family and friends that I love enormously--as loss compared to the surpassing pleasure of knowing him. That my life would validate my surpassing love for Christ--especially in how I deal with conflicts. That my life would paint a beautiful and accurate portriat of Christ and that He would be glorified.

Clearly, these are lofty prayers and I certainly do not fulfill them, but it is the right end to pray toward. That by my life or death, Christ would be glorified (=loved, praised, adored, worshiped, etc.).

Please pray these things for me as I seek to pray them for you.

Praises:
-God's word and understanding
-iPod that plays music and sermons
-quiet time to read, pray, and sing to God
-ample opportunities to walk/hike in Kodaikanal
-a great research partner (Lauren)
-internet and Skype

Prayers:
-Patience for housemates messyness...
-More opportunities to share Christ
-A strong church to attend in Kodaikanal

I plan to write more about India soon, but I'm afraid that if I don't add this now, it might not happen for a long time...

I hope peace and joy for all of you back home. Remember, God is good all the time--even if the circumstances aren't the best, He can redeem them for good!

I've also uploaded a few pictures of my own...they can be found here.

Chennai

We made it to India...yeah...wow. From the moment you step out of the airport you know you are in another world. Although I didn't really believe it before, there really are people everywhere. The roads are ridiculous, fun and scary all at the same time--but I love the auto rickshaws! While you are technically supposed to drive on the left side of the road, common practice is to drive wherever you can without having to stop and wait. Horns, of course, are used non-stop...to the point that even my dad would find it a bit excessive!

I took my vitamin and malaria pills on an empty stomach before I went down to breakfast. Bad idea. I felt terrible! My thought on the way to the bathroom was: "Oh God, I am sick in India, and about to doubt that you are good and that your mercies never fail. Give me faith, Job-like faith that trusts you during suffering--even though my sickness doesn't compare to his. You taught him to say, 'The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away, BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD!'" It's one thing to be sick in another country but it's a lot more scary to be unbelieving! God answered my prayer. Not only did he calm my heart and strengthen my faith, but he also strengthened my stomach. The symptoms passed and I was able to go down and eat.

We are being taken care of by Clara, Dr. Manohar and his wife, Irene. Dr. Manohar is very educated but started ICSA out of a desire to care for the poor. All of the staff here are very friendly! It's nice to no longer be a tourist but to instead have work to do.

This afternoon after class--today we had an overview of Indian history and politics--I was able to spend some time praying and thinking. It was refreshing to be still and listen. My mind wandered to David Livingston, the "father" of the modern Christian missionary movement. As I remember, he went to India with his family sometime during the 19th century. While there, he buried his entire family, lost 10+ years of bible translation work in a fire, and suffered from multiple health conditions. However, he did not leave India. He said with Paul,

"Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of nowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ" (Philipians 3:8).

Here are some pictures from Malaysia that Laura and Mariam took. Hope you enjoy them.

I miss all of you and pray for you. Pray for me.

Speechless in Malaysia

If you've never kept a public journal before, it's not readily apparent how hard it can actually be. I want to tell about all the different places I'm seeing but don't want to simply chronicle my trip. I would like to write something profound but I really don't feel very profound at the moment either.

I was looking at some journaling tips online yesterday and was a bit amused. Dream journals "can be very telling of how we feel about current situations." Okay. Last night I dreamt that I was in an ice cream shop in line to get some vanilla soft serve ice cream. The line took forever and I never did get to taste the ice cream because my dream changed right after my sweet ice cream wish was fulfilled. Sad day! Next I dreamed that my mom got rid of her car in favor of a motorcycle. It was a Chevy motorcycle which, as far as I know, does not even exist (save in my imagination). I wish I could have seen her on it though--I certainly don't think it will happen in real life. Sad day again! My life must be filled with unfulfilled desires! Grief and healing journals also have there merits, but at the moment I'm not overcome with grief...So, I will try to journal as best I can.

As is true of most places, the best aspect of Kuala Lumpur (KL), Malaysia is its people. Most are Malay and Muslim, but there are also many people of Indian descent as well. As far as I can gather from the people I've asked, Malaysia is a Islamic country but Muslim practice is not coerced. According to a Muslim man at the Masjid Negara (the national mosque of Malaysia), the government is composed of several different parliaments; one made up of Malays, one of Indians, etc. The representatives elected to parliament do not need to be practicing Muslims but the president/PM is required to be a faithful Muslim.

Masjid Negara

Malaysia is a very patriotic country. 2007 is the 50th anniversary of Malaysia's independence from Great Britain. The Malaysian flag is proudly displayed on almost every building in KL. I was even given a small parade-style flag at the KL Convention Centre (KLCC). It is impressive to see how many people are participating in the independence celebrations which culminate August 31 (a couple days after we leave...I'm telling you, it's in the dreams!). Overall, Malaysians are very proud of KL--as they should be. It is a beautiful city with lots of glassy buildings and strong promise for economic development. Julia, an attendant at the "executive lounge" at our hotel, told me that many Malaysians look west for career advancement and what she called "big money" while many Indians look to Malaysia.



Well, I have more to write but should let others have a chance at the email. But first, one story. Our first day in KL we went to KLCC--easily spotted by the Petronas Twin Towers. At their base is an ornate and beautiful shopping mall that doesn't even allow pictures to be taken (shops included Rolex, Prada, etc.). Two of the girls on my trip needed a restroom and entered the nearest one. Although we had been warned that "squaty potties" (holes in the ground) were the norm in this area, they weren't quite prepared for this. The center of the room was carpeted and around the perimeter, without any privacy curtains, there was a trough for relieving yourself...Jamie and Liz decided that they didn't need a bathroom that badly and left. They were able to find a spot with more suitable arrangement a little further on for a small fee. What they had unwittingly supposed to be a bathroom was in reality a prayer room! We're all making little blunders like this along the way, but hopefully learning :P (meal time is especially confusing)



Please keep me in prayer, it is hard work to not just go on vacation mentally.

(Thanks sistas for the notes and especially the verses you sent me--keep 'em coming 'cause I need 'em!)